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Miranda Writes

LOL! So cheesy, but cool!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Resolutions Continued

In addition to my own personal growth, I am also constantly reviewing and analyzing my parenting (aka my role in the personal growth of my child); making sure I’m keeping Nevaeh up to speed with where she needs to be for her age, finding new things I can teach her, looking at things I can and/or should be doing differently and making any necessary changes.

Example, Nevaeh used to carry a sippy cup ALL THE TIME. Basically she was allowed to drink on a constant basis, carrying that damned sippy all around the house all day long (and this was just over a couple months ago!!!). It seriously got to the point where she would wake me up twice a night, like clockwork (midnight and 3am), to refill her sippy. When it went so far as her wetting through her diaper almost every night I decided that was waaaay too much laundry for my blood, and it finally clicked to me that I might need to make a change (ya, I’m kinda slow sometimes!).

After much nervous deliberation I dove in. She was already cool with drinking from a big girl cup during the day. It took some work to make her understand that big girl cups need to stay in the kitchen, but that was not as big of a deal as I imagined it would be. Bedtime took a few days of God awful screaming and crying for her sippy cup, as if withholding her sippy was some form of child abuse! I almost caved; it was soooo tempting to cave! But I stayed strong and even made what I felt was a very dramatic move and threw all her sippy’s in the garbage. No turning back.

There were several little things in between (the two big ones; sippy and potty) that I needed to work on. Bedtime (or lack thereof), Discipline (or lack thereof), Routine (or lack thereof) and finally, eating habits.

Bedtime usually consisted of us passing out on the couch whenever while watching a movie. This meant dealing with a monster child the next morning that didn’t get enough sleep the night before. That bad start tended to carry out through the day. We have since established a bedtime routine; clean up toys, bath, teeth brushing, story, hugs and kisses, bed by 7:30-8ish. Let me tell you, the two hours I get to myself at night are freakin’ priceless!! Why didn’t I do this sooner? She happier all around just by doing this one little thing, sticking to a bedtime!

Discipline consisted of me yelling at Nevaeh. Me getting frustrated because she didn’t comprehend all my yelling and nagging and screaming (pretty much the adult version of a tantrum). I had spanked Nevaeh a handfull of times. There was no rhyme or reason to my methods. We’ve since adopted a protocol when discipline is needed. Counting. First offense is 1…. second offense or continuing of first offense is 2…. if a count of 3 is reached it’s 2 minutes in the time out chair (THANK YOU SUPERNANNY!!!) and honestly, she’s gotten the hang of it pretty quick! Usually I only have to go to two or simply ask her if she needs a time out.

I’m no saint. I still get frustrated with her. When she’s having a day when every word out of her pie hole comes out in a whine, or when she’s hanging on my leg begging for something when I’m on the phone, or when I’ve already told her no…. I still yell from time to time, but I feel more in control of my household and myself by using this method.

The eating habits were kind of like this, I got into the habit of eating fast food, therefore Nevaeh was in the habit of eating fast food…I got into the habit of eating microwave dinners therefore Nevaeh is eating them. Just bad habits, lack of veggies, lack of freshness, excess preservative, trans fat, calories, just crap. Cooking had never been something I was good at or enjoyed. I would just feed Nevaeh off my plate because I felt it was easier. Less mess, less clean up and I felt she ate better when I was in control. Well, here’s the problem…how is she suppose to learn to feed herself if I’m always feeding her? *Shrugs, I’m not sure that she could. So I began fixing up a little plate for her to feed herself. Messes can be cleaned up, and nobody ever said having a toddler would be neat right? I then decided to start putting together a recipe book and begin getting the hang of basic cooking and committing to trying one new recipe a week. I started doing this about 2 months ago and I have to say, I LOVE TO COOK!!! I love to put the time and effort into a new recipe to achieve that long awaited first bite. And regardless how it turns out on the first try, it’s something I’ve created! I love being able to tell what I can do the next time I make a dish so that it’s a little better each time. I love knowing that I’m providing my daughter with healthier more balanced meals that are (as cliché as it sounds) made with love. Not to mention how much money I’ve saved by consistently eating at home and staying away from prepackaging as much as possible. Veggies are finally part of our daily lives!

In short, those three minor things that I’ve changed have made up a routine that Nevaeh can grow to expect and trust, which is very important for a growing child. I feel really stupid for taking as long as I did to understand that and put forth the effort to fix it, but I guess I should be proud that I recognized it and took that action. Not to compare myself to low life trailer trash but a lot of people either never identify these little things, and if they do they just don’t care to change them. Now on to the 2nd major change (reminder: first one was the sippy, I know I’m jumping around sorry).

I did start to tentatively considering diving into potty training about a month and a half ago. I had begun using pull-ups instead of diaper…but I just got scared. I was caught in limbo because I didn’t want her pissing and shitting all over my apartment, but I also nearly fainted when I realized how much more expensive pull-ups were from diapers. I’d (metaphorically) dip my toes in just to decide she wasn’t ready yet.

I think the reality of it was I wasn’t ready yet. It’s difficult because I work full time and she’s in daycare (or ‘school’ as I call it) 45 hours a week.

Then, one magical day I was getting her ready for the ‘school’, went to the closet to grab a pull up just to discover, uh oh, no more pull ups!! I had absolutely no choice but to put her in big girl undies. As soon as I got to her daycare I told the teacher ‘she’s in regular underwear today’ (about to follow that up with, ‘you may want to put a pull up on her’ but was shut down by…) ‘YAY, NEVAEH’S IN REGULAR UNDIES TODAY!!! SHE’S GOING TO GO POTTY ON THE TOILET LIKE A BIG GIRL ALL DAY!!!’ Well of course that small misunderstanding pretty much forced me to take that leap, and I guess the day I ran out of pull-ups was a blessing in disguise. To date I haven’t bought a diaper in over a month. PRAISE THE LAWD!!!! After a couple weeks she refused to wear pullups to bed so I have a bunch of those left over that I won't use. Anyone who’s paid for diaper and/or pull-ups for 2 plus years in this economy understands my excitement.

At her age, I’m learning, she soaks up EVERYTHING! She knows all her colors, ABC’s (the song; and identifying the letters), and can count to 10. Now I’m trying to teach her the difference between right and left, and I’m getting her a USA by state hard wood toddler puzzle (most because I could use a brush up myself =O) for Christmas so we can start working on the states and identifying the state she lives in and the part of the state or other states her relatives live in.

I still have a couple more things I’m working on.
I try not to underestimate Nevaeh. She’s a smart little person and I think she comprehends a lot more than I give her credit for. She’s always trying to show me that, yet I still constantly have to remind myself. She’s not a dog that should be complying with my rude commands, and she’s not a baby who I must do everything for. She’s just a little person trying desperately to learn as much as she can and become as independent as she can (or as I’ll allow) and I need to be there to help her with that. I guess my dad was right; you’re just growing up as a parent right along with your kids. Crap, I have to raise myself AND my daughter?

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The (Infamous) First Christmas Program

Friday December 19th marked Nevaeh's 'Christmas program' debut. Let me paint the picture for you. The program took place at the YMCA in a medium size gym. There were risers creatively built out of about 50-step aerobic steppers located front and center of the gym. About 150 chairs were set up throughout the gym in an orderly half circle manner. All the seats were taken and about another 30-40 people were standing behind the chairs.

I was so nervous for her. I’m sure I wasn’t the only parent who felt that way. The kids ranged in age from 2-5 and sang in two separate groups. The 3, 4, and 5 year old sang 4 songs together first and the 2 and 2.5 year olds sang 4 songs together last. The children were herded in from what looked like a big utility closet…but I’m sure it was really an extravagant dressing room. I strategically placed myself near this utility clo…. ahem dressing room and began my camera work with a close up of her walking out. She walks out and was towards the end of the line just looking at the wall (opposite of the 200 person crowd) and looking at the ceiling and just talking, talking, talking to nobody.

She spots me and just had to stop and give me a hug and a kiss, which was adorable, before she ran back with her class and was given her place on the risers. I would say there were about 20 two year olds on the risers split into two rows. Nevaeh was placed in the front row right about in the middle. And now is about the time she freezes. I think she realized how many people she was standing in front of and just froze. The first song began, and she’s frozen solid just staring out into the crowd looking like she will start crying at any moment. The first song ends.

Then comes the applause. Now, Nevaeh is well aware of what clapping mean. GOOD JOB, GOOD GIRL, WAY TO GO! I’ve been clapping at her since she was a newborn! All the sudden she’s not so shy anymore, she’s mutated into Bette Midler!! She starts out tentative…sloooooowly stepping forward onto the lowest step with one foot…. then the other…very slowly…. she is now noticeably separated from the rest of the class, front and center. I heard someone behind me say, “Are they doing solos?” In a shocking tone (because we’re watching a bunch of 2 year olds, nobody expected any solos).

The next song is a four-verse song. It is to the tune of ‘wheels on the bus’ and it goes a little something like this. “The lights on the house go blink, blink, blink, yaaada yada, yaaada yada. The lights on the house go blink, blink, blink, at Christmas time.’ Followed by ‘the reindeer on the roof go tap tap tap’ and ‘the bells on the sleigh go ring ring ring’ and finally ‘the children at the ‘Y’ sing la la la’ I know how the song goes because Nevaeh and me have been practicing. =) Nevaeh got into this one BIG TIME!! Each verse has an obvious move or gestures that the kids are to do and Nevaeh’s really getting into it. So much so that when they got to the second to last verse she threw her hands up over her head (yes, jazz hands and everything) and in a grand finale sort of way sang “AT CHRISTMAS TIME!!!” her voice carrying easily over the other children, leading the audience to believe that the song was over…so they applauded. In reality there was one more verse in the song. The rest of the children looked confused. The daycare teacher and the piano player kind of looked at each other and shrugged

Yes, my daughter ended the song.

During the next two songs she switched it up a bit. She alternated between singings, conducting the rest of the class, and pointing at me and yelling, “THAT’S MY MAMA!!!” That would be the point that I turned bright red, as the people around me were looking at me and laughing. She was definitely making a spectacle of herself. Just causing a ruckus and being a scene-stealer in general. Don’t get me wrong it was cute as hell! Just a tad scosh embarrassing.


So prior to the infamous Christmas program I was nervous and embarrassed for my daughter, but boy did she turn that shit around on me in a hurry.

If you doubt my account of Nevaeh's notorious first Christmas program, I'll show you the video!!! It has been documented for for future blackmail!

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Taking the pressure of resolutions

~**~I was going to wait a few more weeks to post this, but then I read my horoscope for today on Yahoo which read as follows: Your plans don't need to be kept secret in order to be successful, so share them! So here goes…~**~

I’ve decided that this year I needed to get my ass in gear with my short-term goals. I’ve looked back on my ‘manual’ journaling over the past few years and noticed that every year I make a list for New Year’s resolutions and every year I do absolutely NOTHING to achieve those goals. I know it may be partially in my genes to make proclamations of change that quickly fizzle out…. as is my list making obsession and morphing into a scary, psycho effin’ demon thing when I’m mad…. oh yea and my uncanny intellect and stunning good looks (had to throw a couple positives in there for my Grammy!), but what’s the point of life if you can’t overcome anything and everything you want whether it be environmental habits or a genetic disposition?

So any who, this year I’ve decided on a different approach, which I’m hoping will prove to be a BREAKTHROUGH in the way people look at New Year’s Resolution! I may have mentioned this in a previous post but some famous historical dude had this thing where he would make a list of things he wanted to change, work on, improve, learn, ect and just go down the list (Lincoln maybe? Never mind, I don’t know). But here’s the kicker, he would work on ONE THING AT A TIME and did not even think about any other thing on his list until he had mastered the one he was working on.

This in mind, I thought, ‘I’m putting way to much pressure on myself!’ I make my same list every year; quit smoking, lose weight, start eating better and exercising, be more patient ect, and I get as much lazy- junk food-smoking cigs as I can get in December thinking, if I have to give it up come 01/01 then I might as well indulge myself right? WRONG!!!! Come 01/01 I try and change my whole lifestyle at once…and when the inevitable failure comes I get down on myself and give up! WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG!!!

So this year I’m test-driving a different approach. I’ve been working on my resolutions since my birthday (11/04 send me a card!) and the setbacks have come and gone. So what have I accomplished you may ask? First, foremost and the number one thing on my list for the last 7 years; quit smoking. I am happy to announce it and am confident enough to official declare myself a non-smoker. I’ve been making a point to eat better, and stop eating when I’m full. I know this sounds like the most retarded thing in the world, but a lot of people continue to eat after they’ve become full. It’s mostly due to eating too fast…by the time your belly tells your brain that you’re full, you’re STUFFED! So I take my time and enjoy my meals…. it’s not quantity it’s quality and that thinking works for me because I LOVE FOOD!

So how did I accomplish all this in a few months when I couldn’t do it for the past 7 years!? I like to think it’s because I didn’t play it up in my head this time. I didn’t put undue pressure on myself, and I focused on one thing at a time. Now, I can’t lie on an online journal. I did have some outside help. The first thing I recognized was that I couldn’t do all this alone.

I did take a step that some may consider controversial, but I felt it was the right choice for me. I have been taking a prescription medication that is a dual treatment sorta thing. It’s a generic called Budeprion which is an AB rated generic for both Zyban (smoke deterrent) and Wellbutrin (anti-anxiety/depressant, mood stabilizer). It is a very safe drug with minimal side effects and is non-habit forming.

In addition to becoming a non smoker I can now more clearly see the different between a small issue (not something to freak out about) and big issue that I have no control over (no point in freaking out if I can’t change it) and the issues that are big that I can change, and then obviously making the change and it’s easier for me to let things go. Just letting some things slide is a beautiful thing because sometimes arguing, shit slinging and ‘getting back’ at someone causes more harm than good.

I know that some of you, ahem, people out there probably don’t think I have anything to be proud of. ‘Whoop de doo, you pop a pill everyday’. But you know, I am very proud of myself. There are a lot of people out there that aren’t taking any medication that EFFIN’ SHOULD BE! It took me a long time to stand up and admit that I needed more help than I could give to myself.

The medication isn’t doing all the work for me. I’ve created a list to go through in my head whenever I crave one to remind me that it’s just not worth it (I’m an example to my daughter, I can’t afford it, it’s nasty and smelly and toxic, quitting will only get harder, this is the absolute easiest it will ever be, one puff and all my work is down the tubes, ect), and that’s willpower baby…and that’s something to be proud of. The only reason I am able to achieve my goals is because I want to, and I’m working to…with or without a magic pill I’ll continue to work towards those goals until they’re met…. and if I can find some way to expedite that achievement or make it easier on myself I don't feel there is anything wrong with that.


So this year my New Year's resolution list is significantly shorter than any other year. Although I hope there will always be something I'm trying to improve. There are only two that I've set for myself for 2009. I want to start taking more pride in my appearance. I feel like since becoming a mom I just don't have the motivation/energy/time to do my hair and make up or in general give a crap about what I look like in public. However, anytime I do put time into my appearance I always feel better about myself. My second resolution is my potty mouth. I need to stop swearing so much in front of Nevaeh. It's getting ridiculous and i'm getting too comfortable with it.

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Adam Walsh Case Closed

So apparently the notorious murder of little Adam Walsh has been solved after over 27 years. I was reading the article on Yahoo news yesterday and a few thing deeply disturbed me. First, I knew that the ‘America’s Most Wanted’ guy started that show because his young son had gone missing long ago. I never knew that John Walsh knew his son was dead within weeks of him becoming missing in 1981. I didn’t know that poor precious six year old boy was decapitated and his head was found floating in a nearby river. I didn’t know that his body was never recovered. All these things deeply disturbed me and made me sad and angry for little Adam Walsh’s parents.

You may all be surprised that there is something that disturbed me even more so than the above-mentioned events. The article was going through all the positive things John Walsh has done throughout the years, becoming an activist for missing children and much more, all in an attempt to raise AWARENESS despite the tragic, senseless and violent murder of his innocent child that he had to live with.

According to a sociologist and criminologist from Mount Holyoke College named Richard Moran the only thing John Walsh has succeeded in doing is “make children and adults alike exponentially more afraid.” And that “He ended up really producing a generation of cautious and afraid kids who view all adults and strangers as a threat to them and it made parents extremely paranoid about the safety of their children”

WHAT!!??? What kind of asshole can sit there and criticize a man who lost his son in such a god awful inconceivable way? If that would have happened to me I would either kill myself or be on some serious drugs and locked up in a room for the rest of my life.

Instead of being totally buried in grief John Walsh took action to try and prevent this horrible thing from happening to other parents…to try and raise awareness that this kind of this can and does happen!

Kids SHOULD be afraid of strangers….they should be paranoid and cautious!!! DUH!!!! And I also think that this ‘sociologist’ was a little over board when he made the statement ‘kids who view all adults (and strangers) as a threat to them.’ That’s the most retarded thing ever. Strangers yea, that should be the case, but every adult? Come on Moran…or should I say Moron!! Lol, sorry that was uncalled for….but seriously am I wrong? It almost like this guy is a former abductor and because of John Walsh kids won't get in his car with a simple promise of candy anymore.

this is the article link, hope it works---
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081216/ap_on_re_us/adam_walsh;_ylt=Alg2RF9Xf63rTQPV9WinrQMDW7oF'

Oh, and btw---the killer was a guy named Ottis Toole who had confessed to the murder several times but nobody believed him because he had confessed to hundreds of murders....?

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

coming soon

I haven't posted in a while, and I realize this is taboo in the blogging world. In my defense I have a lot of important posts coming up that I don't want to jinx. I know that does't make a lot of sense right now, but it will....

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