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Miranda Writes

LOL! So cheesy, but cool!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

To everything there is a season

With winter coming up fast, I can feel change in the air. So much is different and so many new things have happened I feel that I need to adjust. To prepare, if you will. So, we will pack away the summer clothes to give to good will. We will rearrange the fall clothes in our dressers. We will put the cover back onto the air conditioner and prepare to crank up the heat. We will stock our cabinet with lots of hot chocolate and mini marshmallows.

It's funny, when you live in an area(such as Wisconsin) that has its four very distinct seasons. You're always ready for the changing of the seasons....you've had enough of each and are ready and willing to welcome the next when it peeks its head. We all have our favorites, of course, but we know, expect, and welcome each of them.

The chill in the air reminds me of being a kid again; starting school and looking forward to trick or treating and jumping in a big pile of leaves.

As an adult though my priorities have changed. I am nervous to get used to driving in snow again. I am forced to think about my 6 year old winter coat and it's inoperable zipper. I look forward to enjoying hot chocolate and a Disney movie indoors, snuggled up tight with my little girl. I look forward to her first trick or treating extravaganza. I can't wait to take her sledding for the first time when the snow finally falls. I looking forward to another Christmas with her a year older and more potential for memories to be made.

Along with everything I have to look forward to, this time of year also bring a little stress. My vehicle requires four new tires before the first snowfall. I have to figure out where the money for snow attire (coat, hat, scarf, boots, mitten, snow pants...and hey, a sled!) will come from. The money for Nevaeh's Halloween costume which she will only get use of this one year. My car insurance expires in November...there's an extra bill I haven't had for a year!

With the changing seasons I have an overwhelming feeling to change myself. To somehow make this season better than the last and better that the year's past. To make the very most that I can make of it no matter what it takes or the obstacles that may fall in my path. Here is my pre-new year's resolution list.

1. Practice patience by practicing the proper perspective- no matter what the situation is I always find, when reflecting, that losing my patience was never worth it. Regret is a wicked thing.

2. Keep my health in the forefront of my mind- whether it be resisting the urge to over-eat, quick smoking, or getting the proper amount of exercise.

3. See thing through the eyes of a child- only then will I not only see how to make my daughter's childhood the best that it can be, but I know it will also help me to keep life in the proper perspective. Life is a gift that should not be wasted or taken for granted.

4. Remember all I have to be thankful for. All the way down to the hot shower I get every morning. I am blessed in so many way, and even the big things are easy to take for granted when I don't remind myself of them daily.

5. Begin to adamantly practice a budget and establish a program which will allow me to save for my future as well as my daughter's.

6. Empathy. For my daughter, my friends, my family.

7. Worth saying yet again. Patience and perspective...let's add positive thinking for good measure, as there is not enough that could be said about the power that lies in positive thought.

Any ambitious reader's out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts, input, personal revelations ect. I'm in the mood for some wisdom!!!

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Friday, September 12, 2008

Thoughts

It has been a really long and stressful time. A lot of it was me allowing myself to get stressed out and allow things to get to me. I could stew in how unfair life is all day until I can't think of one positive thing left to be thankful for. I could live everyday with anger and revenge in my heart and feel justified, but why?

I would much rather be happy.
I have absolutely nothing to be upset about except the past...and that's over and done with!
I have nothing to stress out or worry about except 'maybes' and 'could Be's' and 'what ifs'. And how often to those things actually happen?

Ultimately everything is my choice. I am the queen of my own existence. I am the keeper of my own well-being. I make the choice everyday what kind of attitude I will have, what kind of outlook and perspective I will adopt, how I will feel about that day and people in it. Will I look at everyday as another opportunity for anything to happen =D!!! Or will I look at everyday as being doomed because I just want to be miserable.

Here's a tidbit. I went to court for child support on Tuesday. I went into it expecting next to nothing. Maybe $200 a month if I was lucky. The judge ordered him to pay $457 a month, and that doesn't even include back child support which we will be going to court for at the beginning of October. It made me realize how I expect the worst so that I'm not disappointed. It's a defense mechanism. It works, but I can't help but wondering what kind of result I would see if I always expect the very best.

I am constantly trying to improve myself. Quit smoking, quit eating like a pig, get into more child friendly activities, practice patience. I struggle with all of these things, but I also beat myself up over them constantly. Maybe the key is positivity, not to get down on myself when I can't change everything at once. Just focus on one thing at a time and keep it upbeat. Can I do that? Will it do any good? I guess there's only one way to find out!

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