Nevaeh-- the nudist
Parenthood is a beautiful weird and god-awful thing. I spent a lot of wasted time wishing she would grow up a little more, be more independent/self sufficient. I feel bad for that, for sure. When I see a newborn I get that mommy twinge and a split second of wishing Nevaeh was that size again. When I see a one-year-old fresh and newly toddling around I wish I could rewind back to those first steps she took. The reality of the matter is that I can honestly for the first time say that I fully appreciate the age Nevaeh is now and I wouldn’t wish her any older. Getting older is inevitable and in all actuality, it goes by way too fast so why rush it?
This post is dedicated to why Nevaeh is at her most awesome that I know her to be right now, today (technically this story takes place last night but whatever).
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So, last night I picked Nevaeh up from ‘school’ where all her little friends usually gather, some hug/hang on me or yell ‘look at this’ or ‘look at me’ at me, while some prefer to just crowd my personal space and stare at me. I know this is going to sound rude, but I don’t like kids. Nevaeh is really the only exception to this rule, but somehow, someway when I became a mom they frickin’ flock to me! Why? I don’t know, but I guess it’s kinda cute, in an annoying sorta way. Nevaeh doesn’t like this at all! She is very territorial of me. ‘MY mommy!’ she yells. Sometimes she’ll even pry someone’s little hands off me! I, of course, point out that that’s not nice, but inside I think it’s freakin hilarious.
This particular evening, when picking her up, about four different kids decided to grab all of her stuff and ‘help’ her put it on. Nevaeh put her boots on while one little girl took coat duty another little girl with one glove a little boy with another. The little girl that was on hat detail must have pissed Nevaeh off (she’s very sensitive about the placement of her hat) because that was taken from the little girls hand and Nevaeh placed it on her head herself.
So after that fun adventure was over, I had to run to ups and pick up a package. Nevaeh usually starts gabbing once we get in the car right off the bat about color of cars, if she sees a school bus she gets especially excited. Semi’s, birds, lights. We’ve been working on green means go and red means stop. She’ll talk about stars and the moon. One thing that she likes that kind of makes me sad is the huge billow of smoke coming from the stacks at the paper factory, which unfortunately are located right by our apartment. She says ‘oooh pretty clouds!!!’ Yea, I’m thinking, so pretty and POISONOUS!
So anyway, we’re at ups and waiting in line, and (I have learned to brief her before we do ANYTHING in public. ‘Okay Nevaeh, we’re going to pick up a package from the nice ups lady, we’re going to have to stand in line patiently and wait our turn, ok?’ This usually helps the situation tremendously. She said “ok, we gonna pick up a package.”) She’s just talking to EVERYONE!!! Someone walked in behind us and she said “Hello, you gonna wait in line too?” So at this point I’m having one of those internal parental debates with myself. Should I scold her for talking to a stranger? Is she too young yet to understand? Is it ok because she’s with me? I decide that it’s ok for now because she’s with me, and she may still be a tad too young to understand what stranger danger means.
I showed her how to keep warm in a chilly area when having to stand in one spot. For those are you who aren’t privileged to know what to do you put your hands in your coat pocket and kinda swing yourself right and left to keep the blood moving (keeping your feet in one place).
She finds a rock in her pocket and that keeps her busy. We talk a little about the rock and where she got it (from her pocket) and what color it is, and how it feels smooth ect. Some guy offers his unsolicited advice (if you can even call it that) ‘she’s going to choke on that’ he said very quietly almost inaudibly. I just gave him a dirty look and rolled my eyes. She’s almost three; I think at this point I can handle the basics such as thing being put in baby’s mouth that they can choke on.
She put it in her mouth, and of course I was right there to take it away. No harm no foul. Drove home, and with such an adventure behind us Nevaeh’s mind starts wondering to what she wants to do (or eat or drink) next.
‘I want some juice!’
My response ‘ok, when we get home, please.’
‘I want some fruit snack’
‘After dinner, after we get home’
‘I have to go potty!’ I give her a treat usually fruit snacks when she goes potty on the big girl toilet.
‘Can you hold it until we get home?’
‘I want sooooome…. um…JUICE!’
Oh, I see, it’s a game now. Well guess what? Homey don’t play dat!
No response from me.
‘Mama?’ (All sweet and innocent like)
‘Yes?’
‘Hey mama?’
‘Yeeah?’ (Getting a little sarcastic on my end)
‘Mommy?’
‘What!?’
‘I waaaaant….. FRUIT SNACKS!!!’
I’m ignoring
‘I wanna watcha panda (Kung Fu Panda), I wanna watcha bee (A Bee Movie), I wanna watcha Puff (The Incredibles, don’t ask me why she calls it that), hey mama, hey mama, I wanna watcha movie!’
So finally at long friggin last we get home and get all our gear off and started picking up bits and pieces from the previous night. Usually we clean up big messes such as block and games the previous night but mostly little things slip by. I try to pick my battles with Nevaeh, so if she over looks her dirty sox or dropped a play food on it’s way back to her playschool kitchen I don’t really fret because we clean up after work/school the next day. I’ve gotten to the point where I refuse to clean up any of Nevaeh’s stuff, but I also realize she’s still young so I try to space out her workload as much as possible.
I’ve discovered a tactic, in which I can bribe her to clean up after herself, and yes again some may not agree, but I think it’s cute and effective. Also, keep in mind bribe is a strong word and I may be exaggerating just a bit. I discovered a few weeks back that Nevaeh not only knows what money is, but she likes it and wants it. It was really weird how it happened.
***We’re flashing back to a couple weeks ago when I discovered she likes money***
The sitter had given her like a dime and three pennies. When I picked her up later I heard them jingling in her pocket and asked her what she had. She didn’t answer me. When I went to reach into her pocket to check it out she put her hand over her pocket and said “No mom! My money!!!” But here’s the kicker, she didn’t mess with the money in her pocket after I discovered it. She just went on about her business as if there was nothing of any interest in her pocket. I tried to reach for her pocket again, she said “No mama! That’s my money! You no touch it!” Then walked away, going on about her business without a second glance or thought to the money in her pocket. Ok, I’m not sure if I’m explaining this right, but for a two year old to be reminded they have shiny dimes and pennies in they’re pocket and choose to leave it in their pocket as if they know that’s where it should be and understand that money isn’t a toy that you play with just baffled me completely!
So anyway, I decided the best thing to do since she’d already been introduced to the world of money is to get her a piggy bank. I found the perfect one on Amazon that fit all my criteria. Cheap, plastic, plays music when money is inserted, tallies money. I was surprised I found exactly what I wanted, but that’s Amazon for you.
Okay, so to finish my original thought, I can now bribe her to do things for me, or to just clean up after herself, with money!!! I don’t do it all the time. If I’ve asked her to do something and not specified it’s for money I won’t go back and bribe her w/ money if she tells me no. When I ask her to do something I expect her to do it whether I feel there should be a reward or not. If I’m in a hurry and don’t feel like going through the whole time out thing, I’ll side step everything by asking her to clean up her things and tell her she will get x amount of money (usually a few pennies, a nickel, a dime) when she’s done. I set the change down so she can see it. She does her ‘chores’ if you will, and then she puts her pennies in her piggy bank. Works like a charm! She is not rewarded with money for failing to do things she should already be doing, but if I’m going to ask her to clean up several different things in several different rooms I may get a handful of change and hand her pennies and nickels as we go along to keep her motivated.
So last night she cleaned up all the shoes from the front door and put them in the front closet for three pennies. Put her dirty sox from the night before in the laundry for a penny. We had dinner, which was just pleasant in general. We had a nice conversation. Some nights we sit at her playschool table together (yes, I look ridiculous sitting at that table, but Nevaeh doesn’t mind and there’s nobody else around to rip on me) some nights we eat in the living room and watch a movie. Last night we chose to watch a movie.
The night trudged on a bit longer with request for juice refill and sudden outburst of laughing at the movie at inappropriate times as well as sweet pathetic sounding requests for me to ‘come snuggle me’ from Nevaeh. When it was finally time to put vaeh-pie to bed we went through our bedtime rigmarole. Of course like every other night she finds an excuse to get out of bed.
‘I wanna drink of water’
‘I wanna go potty’
‘I needa hug’
‘I needa kiss’
And my response? Ok, ONE MORE! And I usually mean it, however it never stops her from pushing it every single solitary night…that and its dangerous territory to call her bluff on having to go potty. After about three times of picking her up and putting her little ass back in bed finally a few minutes go by without any noise or indication that she’s brewing a new excuse to come out. Then? Bang, bang, bang. She usually sleeps in my bed and I sleep on the couch. My bed is up against the same wall as the living room so as you may have guessed…that banging would be Nevaeh kicking the wall. I hate to end a night badly, but sorry…. annoying! So I go in there and grab her legs and very sternly tell her to stop kicking the wall. I thought it was funny at first (as in months ago when she first started doing it)…. not anymore.
She whines for a few second (she’s been getting more sensitive and in tuned about disappointing me or making me mad), then beautiful silence again. This time it lasted for a while. I got into my book pretty good and when I get into a good book I’m really into it, but I was still very shocked at what happened next…
Let me give you a layout of the land (aka my living room).
Separating the bedroom from the living room is a very short hallway, which opens up quickly to my living room/ kitchen area. Extending from that hallway is a couch, which I placed there in an attempt to better separate the living room from the kitchen. Adjacent to that couch is a love seat and between the love seat and the wall, which faces the couch, is an end table. There is a small walkway created by these two couches more or less boxing in the living area. This walkway would be like the point of a right angle the two couches are making. Okay, hopefully that was a good enough description cuz now I have to try and explain what she did.
Usually when she comes out of the room I can see her right away. I’m usually sitting on the big couch facing the bedroom door and can see her little head poking out of the room and over the back of the couch. If not that, then I can hear her walking, crawling or her otherwise feeble and failed attempts to sneak out of bed undetected. She must have…. uh, I’ll say slithered, for lack of a better word, from the bedroom right past me, past the opening between the two couches, behind the blue love seat towards the end table. At this point she is completely behind me. She climbs her little ass up onto the end table and the next thing I know I hear ‘if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!’ *clap, clap, coming from my back right. I turn around to find her completely nude, and continuing her song without a hitch. When she realized I saw her she got this big shit eating grin on her face that pretty much screamed, ‘yea I know I’m being naughty, but I’m so damn cute and risqué you can’t get mad…and I know that too. In yo face!’
Yes, she was defiant. She’s got spunk and I wouldn’t change it! She’s definitely got personality and a well functioning brain. Whether it be used for good or evil. I’d rather her be pushing my buttons than be totally complacent. The fact is, that single solitary moment made my whole shitty day worth it. That moment was a friendly and very odd reminder of what it’s all about.
It just seems that more and more we are working as a team. She can do so much herself now…dress herself, put her shoes (or boots), gloves, hat (still needs help with her coat) on; she can brush her own teeth. She can pee and poop with little participation required on my part and no clean up required above me double checking her poop wipe job (I do clean my toilets about once a week, but I’d do that even if I was the only one crapping in it), she’s cleans up after herself. We understand each other more; we are more of a family unit as opposed to me being her personal caregiver (which is exhausting when you’re feeding, changing diaper, dressing, teaching them, picking toys up everyday, watching their every move and more, every freaking day in addition to attempting to maintain you’re sanity).
I believe we’ve started what my brother referred to as ‘the honeymoon stage’. He told me that the first year is the hardest but after that the ‘honeymoon’ stage kicks in. I personally found that is when the hellion stage kicked in, but every kid is different. Now at the precious age of 2.5 I think Nevaeh and me have finally gotten there.
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posted by Miranda @ 2:30 PM
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