Focal points

Concentration/Focus

Willpower

Self Discipline

Motivation

Read more!

Being breezy

When I think of how I would like to define myself I think breezy. Let us explore.

Definition of breezy: adjective: 1. Exposed to breezes; windy. 2. Fresh and animated; lively 3. casual or carefree; light-hearted

Synonyms: airy, animated, blithe, buoyant, carefree, casual
, debonair, easy-going, effervescent, free and easy, gay, informal, jaunty, light, lively, low-pressure, peppy, racy, relaxed, sparkling, spicy, spirited, sprightly, sunny, unconstrained, vivacious.

Urban dictionary: combination of the two words that describe a woman that is easy. The word "broad" (slang for a woman) is combined with the word easy creating the derogatory word "breezy."

Okay, not the last one…

There was a girl I knew in high school named Brianna whose nickname was breezy. Kids joked that it was because of an out of control farting problem.

Not that one either….

What if we could brainwash ourselves? I know, that sounds kind of scary and crazy, but I think that 1.) It’s absolutely possible to brainwash yourself and probable that we all do it all day every day 2.) It could either be a good thing or a bad thing 3.) Who could brainwash you better than yourself? And 4.) Why would you want anyone else brainwashing you but yourself?

Over the last 5 years I have slowly found that I’m becoming more and more aware of both my surroundings as well as myself. I know this sounds crazy because 5 years ago I was still a young adult, and you would think most people are aware of themselves and their surroundings somewhere around infancy, right? So what’s my problem? Am I mentally retarded? Is this why it’s taken me 20+ years past infancy to become aware of myself?

As you probably guessed the basic idea of ‘awareness’ typically thought of is not what I’m speaking about. Over the last 5 years, both good experiences and bad ones (as well as how experiences unfold and overlap over time) have forced me to question things I thought I knew. It has caused me to look at myself and evaluate myself in ways I never thought I would or could. The chain of events (in details too great for this post) has led me to a belief that there is something more to understand about my surroundings and myself than meets the eye.

I think what is the most unsettling part is that I feel I have all the tools (or at least enough tools) to be able to break free of this prison called my perceived reality as well as the disappointment associated with having more information and not using it. I can feel the figurative sun wanting to shine through the clouds and I can almost smell the sweet spring breeze on my face, but it just won’t break through the surface. How can I make it stick? Is the truth too amazing for my brain to grasp onto? I get glimpses of wonder and truth, but negative Nancy always ends up coming back to run the show.

I’ve been brainwashed. Everything I think and believe is the result of my conditioning thus far. My experiences, relationships and interactions to this point have all been key components in creating my present perceptions. This is only (to a degree) because I have allowed these things to shape my thoughts and feelings, not because it’s inevitable that they do. Of course things that were impressed upon me as a child are less within my control than things impressed on me today, but either way, control is perceived. Everything is based on perception. Everything. The level of control you have over your reality is perceived. Labeling an experience good or bad is defined by our perceptions. Loneliness is perceived. Hate is perceived. Perception is not definitively this that or the other ever. It’s abstract. It is exactly what we say it is, no matter what it is we are speaking about.

What if everything in the world was perceived with love first, instead of limits? Hell, what if everything I think was perceived with love first instead of limits? A limited belief system, limited tolerance, limited patience leads to limited understanding and ends in judgement of some kind. Here is a fun fact I have learned. This is a basic truth of being. Once judgement is passed, understanding seizes. You can apply this to so many different facets of life and human interaction. Once judgement is passed, understanding seizes. So one can only deduce that judgement is ignorant.

Oprah said something on her show recently that went something like this, ‘forgiveness means accepting that the past could have never been any different.’ This truth of being has really resonated with me as well. The ring of sound truth that is also productive is always on my list of like’s. I mean, there are so many little saying that really speak truth and wisdom, like, when one door closes another opens. If you stare too long at the closed door you won’t see the open door waiting for you. If you really believe this is true then you will see magic in your life for having that belief.

Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going on about. It really is an abstract idea but it’s so simple at the same time. So many people live by these basic principles and seem to do it effortlessly, without even thinking about it. I see really stupid people all around me living by ‘the early bird gets the worm’, and ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ and ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ and ‘put yourself in their shoes before you judge.’ It’s starts with ‘attitude’ and it ends with ‘is everything’ but for someone like me, when this concept is easier to understand than to actually put into practice I find myself repeating these things to myself all the time just to achieve mediocrity in my intentions.

I know feeling breezy should be effortless and natural, but I always feel like I’m fighting against the current. I feel like I’m going against the grain. Maybe the reality I’ve learned is trying desperately to conquer the reality I feel. At least that’s how I feel inside a lot of the time. Chaotic. Like I’m in a war with myself. I just want peace, but I want peace for the good guys, not the tyrant.

Thinking à Action à Habit à Results

I know I can start to get more of a sense of control if I just force certain challenges into habit. Once habits are formed my mind is freed up to concentrate on new things. So, after much thought, I’ve determined that the first habit that I need to spin into being is a morning routine. I tried doing this before, and it didn’t last very long. But, I didn’t FORCE myself to continue the action(s) into habit. I want to be able to get my workout in right away in the morning. I want to have some time to spend eating breakfast with Nevaeh in the morning. I want to have time to spend on taking more pride in my appearance in the morning. There is so much that could be accomplished by simply making a morning routine and then sticking to it until it’s just part of what I do.

Here are some more adjectives I will aspire to: Healthy. Fit. Happy. Calm. Tranquil. Peaceful. Attentive. Congenial. Inspirational.

The sea of change is massive, but I’m ready to swim! I cannot conquor the sea all at once. All I need to worry about right now is getting my feet wet. Then I can slowly expand my depth until my whole body is adjusted to the water. My focus is on the present moment and the baby steps I must take to submersion, but my awareness is the great sea, which I will ultimately be swimming lapse around.

Read more!

"You don't even mean for it to happen. It just does. As the light gets turned off at night, you say just a little something and somehow it sparks up this whole huge marathon conversation that goes on and on until one of you gets too tired to have a clear mind anymore and you fall asleep in each others arms feeling loved and appreciated and connected in the most amazing way ever."

Read more!