I'm the boss

It is becoming apparent to me that the lines that should be drawn between parent and child are not as clear with Nevaeh and me. It’s my fault, I know. I try to make my house more of a democracy, but instead I’m getting a democrazy! (I know I’m so coo what with my word spin and all) Because the fact is children as young as Nevaeh needs to be taught and controlled. Duh! Retard! I feel stupid even typing that because it’s so obvious. Day to day I feel that I do a good job, but I definitely let Nevaeh get away with stuff, and she definitely doesn’t have a lot of respect for my authorital (for all you south park fans).

I know this, I can see this, but now here’s the $64,000 question. How do I regain control? How to I show Nevaeh that although I may have been a push over, or inconsistent or treating her as more of an equal member of the household (which I feel is very important, but maybe not as a two year old… again DUH!)I am the boss and she is the kid. Easier said than done. I tend to laugh first then try and make her take me serious. DUH! I want her to listen to me and take me seriously but I also want us to be close and I want her to be comfortable coming to me with anything and not being afraid.

I find that when I try and get her to listen and she doesn’t my gut reaction is to start yelling at her. This could do one of three things. She may listen out of fear. She may just get scared and start crying, or she may completely ignore me which tells me she’s becoming more and more immune to getting yelled at…which is a big problem considering she not even three!

I’ve gathered advice, comments, and suggestions from many different placed including online and I think I have a good handle on it. Now I just have to follow through on it. I feel like people around me think I’m dumb because I don’t just ‘get it’ I have to have my hand held…like I should automatically know what do to when trying to control a two year old.

What I think it all boils down to is confidence. I need to exude confidence that I am the boss. I am in control. Confidence that she will mind me or there will be consequences. I need to be stable and create an environment where she knows what to expect, which I now realize mindless screaming will never achieve. I’ve gotten better over the last year, but I’m not naïve enough to say I’m there. Hopefully I never stop trying to be better for Neaveh.

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