My Friends

It’s an interesting thing, socially, to be a single mother. The stigma of being an unwed parent is not what it used to be and for that I am grateful. However, relating to my peers is more often than not a different story. I’ve been blessed with having several single mom and dad friends who have been there for me for support, help and the oh so simple yet magnificent invention, play dates.

These people are the ones I can relate to. The ones I have more in common with. These are the people I turn to with advice about how to deal with tantrums, potty training, and bedtime. These are my friends and my parenting advisors and I am blessed to have each and every one of them.

I also have friends that are single and childless or married and childless or married with children. I really hate to lump all of these friends into one category, but it’s true that it is much more difficult for me to relate to these friends. My childless single and married friends have trouble understand why I can’t or just plain don’t want to get a sitter every Saturday to go to the bar. Or why I chose not to get so drunk that I can’t even see straight. Or why I can’t forget about my daughter for a night and ‘just have fun’. They don’t understand how the love of a child changes a person, and they have trouble taking my single mama status into consideration when try to make plans with me.

My married friends with children are a little better. These are the friends I can have a casual dinners in with. We can plan fun activities with our kids. I can get sound advice mostly…. but the understanding of what it truly is to be completely solo in your parenting still isn’t there. I find that I’m getting good advice but it just isn’t workable with my situation.

Raising children is hard no matter if your single or married, and I understand that but I’m sorry there are a lot of advantages that my married parent friends have and I guess it upsets me when they take it for granted. Double income is the first thought that comes to mind. They say ‘I don’t know how you do it’ and I say ‘ I can appreciate what I have, why can’t you?’

Despite all my complaining there really is something to say in having a diversity in my friends. I am always learning and growing and each and every friend I have, no matter what the category I choose to place them in, contributes to that. One of the main things I’ve learn is that everyone no matter how ideal their situation may seem has ‘the grass is always greener’ syndrome. Everyone has some wisdom to share. Everyone has some things they wish they could change. And it all boils down to perspective.

This is a shout out to all my peeps! No matter how hard it is for us to 'get' each other sometimes!! =D